Profound Late-Night Thoughts

Recently, amidst a storm of teenage hormones and high stress levels, I asked a person who is very important to me if they were happy.

I didn't get a straight answer, but instead something that threw me just a bit.  This very important person immediately said to me, "I don't like that word.  This table is happy, this piece of chicken is happy.  It doesn't mean anything."

I don't remember every part of the conversation, but that bit stood out to me.  I don't recall this person going on to say anything about enjoying or being content with their life.  Just that happy isn't a word that they use.

"Happy" is the most important word in my world.  It is the word most often used to describe me by almost everyone I have met.  It was the one thing my mother wished for me as I entered the first day of Kindergarten.  It is the single word that defines my goals and aspirations for my life.  "Happy" is me.  I am happy.

And when the words, "It doesn't mean anything," were uttered by this very important person, my world froze for a moment.  My heart cried out to this person across the table.  It was like being told that true happiness doesn't exist.  Dreams don't come true.  Life sucks.

Never in my life have I felt more distant from another human being.  It opened my eyes to the level of suffering that can be caused by something as simple as a train of thought.

Well, I believe in happiness.  Dreams do come true.  Life is wonderful  Love is found everywhere, and an innocent kindness is the greatest virtue human-kind can possess.  All you have to do to find these treasures of life is believe.  Believe with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul, and anything can happen.

Perhaps I'm just a naive almost eighteen-year-old girl who knows nothing of the world.  Perhaps I am following a hopeless dream that will never see the light of day.  Perhaps I am truly insane.  Perhaps I am a lot of things.  And none of them matter, because I am happy, and I believe.

What is my dream?  Theater.  Why?  Because I want to share "Happy" with the world.  I want to help others believe.  I want others to live in the beautiful universe I live in.  This is my dream for everyone.

All the world's happiness,
Little Me